The ultimate threat
Amy took offence to being told to eat her broccoli, and offered the following retort: “well, one day I’m going to get a puppy and he’s going to pee in your wine!”
All posts filed under: Short Stuff
What kind of an Ark was he running, anyway?
The Kindy Christmas concert is to have a Noah’s Ark theme, and parents have been requested to send their children dressed as animals. Asked Amy which animal she’d like to go as, and she decided “Fairy Princess”. Told her that Noah probably didn’t have any fairy princesses on the Ark. She reckons Noah SHOULD have had fairy princesses on the Ark, but with that in mind, she’d take a back-up option and go as a unicorn. Aghast to learn that no, there were no unions on the Ark, either. A slammed door and several lengthy discussions about how Noah could have better stocked his Ark, and she’s finally settled on going as a flamingo.
Nutritious
Offered snack options to the three year old. She declined all options, because: “I’m full…I had some mint from the garden and some fingernails”. Boogers for dinner, then.
LBL
“Mummy, I’m going to tickle you until wees come out your nose!” I’m not sure the Depends marketing team ever envisaged such a situation.
Halloween
Dress-up day at kindy for Halloween. Amy shunned all her dress-up options and said she wanted to go “as a mum”. I sent her in a lightly stained top with a messy ponytail, and hastily applied eyeshadow and lipstick.
Expert
“I’m taking my doctor’s kit with me to the doctors with us. I can show him what to do because he might not know what he’s doing”. I’m sure our doctor was thrilled with all the “constructive criticism” he received.
8.45 AM: The preschool teachers lovingly set out a large tray of plastic animals covered with flour and glitter so the children can excavate and discover, and, like, learn and stuff. 9.15 AM: The girls have taken over the table, glitterery flour is liberally spread through their hair (and all over the floor) as they all desperately attempt to make their hair white “just like Queen Elsa!”
Her name was Lola…
Amy on her new (utterly amazing, wonderful and gorgeous) babysitter named Lola: “So is she the showgirl Lola, or a different Lola?” I think I need to moderate my show-tune singing.
Toddzilla
The three year old insists on getting about in so many layers of dressing-up clothes that she primly insists I accompany her to the loo and hold all her clothes up at armpit level to stop skirts/dresses/capes/tiaras/necklaces from falling into the bowl. This bathroom duty, along with her fussy dietary restrictions, emotional outbursts, door slamming, claims that I’m not her best friend one minute then that I’m her best friend in the whole WORLD the next, and outrageous demands; teamed with my utterly depleted bank account and soaring feelings of inadequacy makes me feel like I’m Maid of Honour for a really short Bridezilla. Every. Single. Day.
Time Out
I got sent to the Time Out Corner “for back-chatting and APPALLING behaviour”. If I carry on at this rate, I’ll be looking at an early bath and bed. I think I’ll carry on at this rate.
McPikelets 