All posts filed under: Long Stuff

Say hello to my little friend

The magic of Christmas is a special thing when you’re a kid. Twinkly lights, the Snoopy’s Christmas song on high rotate, seeing extended family, decorating trees, waking up to presents and a note from Santa, a special lunch and a free pass to gorge on candy canes. When you’re a kid, it all just…happens. When you’re a parent, however, it all just…happens because you do it all. I’m no grinch, and Christmas is pretty much the highlight of my year (note: Due to printing deadlines, I’m writing this column quite far ahead of Christmas. I will laugh at myself long and hard when I see that sentence in print), but from somewhere around mid-September my right eye starts to twitch as I think about logistics. Where will we be? Who will be coming? Does everyone fit? Are there any more vegetarians than there were last year? Oh, and a vegan now, too? Where are the Santa Sacks? Are we allocating enough time to all sides of the family? Can someone please turn off Snoopy’s Christmas …

Parenting by online committee

In this current age of what feels like parenting by online committee, I’ve seen many a mum taken out by commenters shout-typing their opposing opinion and take that mum down a peg or two for daring to share her thoughts. On the flip side I’ve seen some incredible support and rallying, often sparked by those exact same women or by very similar topics, in carefully monitored groups. A group I’m in, The Motherhood Project, recently shared an article written for Stuff by one of the group members, Rebecca Goodhue, about how relentless she’s finding motherhood because her baby is a non-sleeper. I read her article and completely related because I knew that non-sleeping life. It’s exhausting, it’s hard, it’s lonely, it takes the shine off the moments that everyone says you must treasure, and you feel like you must be doing something really wrong because your baby isn’t doing the things with sleeping that everyone says theirs is doing. I thought thankful thoughts about Rebecca on behalf of the mothers of other non-sleepers, because there’s …

Friendship survivals & casualties

I consider myself extremely lucky to have a core group of girlfriends I’ve known for a while now, we share a lot of our thoughts and lives with each other, and have supported each other through life’s ups and downs – which has preserved our sanity many times over. They’re the kinds of friends you could rely on to help you hide a body. I met those friends through other mutual friends, through work, and through old relationships. We’ve done life things at different times…moving countries, getting married, separating, having kids…and while we sometimes don’t see each other as often as we’d like to, we know we’re all there. Last night, I went out with a different group of relatively new friends discovered in the last year or so, and the conversation ranged from hilarious to intense and back again, with much cheers-ing and clinking of glasses. Were it not for the fact that our kids are in the same year at the same school, we probably wouldn’t have met, and that table of belly …

Talking ‘Bad Parenting’ on Breakfast TV

Loved talking ‘Bad Parenting’ with Hayley and Jack on Breakfast. You can see the interview by clicking right here   And this is the post that sparked the conversation: Confessions from the ‘bad parent’ corner… It’s not raining so technically we could all be outside having adventures, but instead this morning my kids have watched way too much Netflix. They’re not even watching something educational that I can then trill “ok children, let’s all make our own volcano from baking soda and food colouring now like they did on that highly stimulating science show you just watched!” and feel all pious about it… they’re watching one of those series about animated moody teenagers in lots of makeup bitching at each other. But this morning the allure of a Sunday cup of tea in bed in bed was just too strong. I was thinking about a busy week ahead, had some stuff to sort out in my head, and I knew that if I tried to think about that while up with the kids I would have …

Firsts and Lasts

(Originally published in the Autumn 2018 edition of Little Treasures Magazine) “I re-homed the Mountain Buggy while you were out, it’s gone to a lovely family expecting a surprise third baby” my husband beamed at me, a look of expectant pride on his face as if I’d soon be whipping out a certificate for ‘The Most Helpful And Organised Partner’. “You WHAT?” I shrieked. “G-gave away the M-mountain Buggy?” He stammered, “The thing you said we should probably give away because Tilly is too big for it now? To a nice family? Was that not right?” Doubt flickered across his face as he edged towards the fridge to pour me a large wine. It was absolutely the right thing to do, better than my default plan based on leaving it under the house to gather that under-the-house-smell saying, “we really must re-home that buggy,” every time I trip over it while trying to hunt down the cat. It’s not that I didn’t want another family to benefit from the pram that had given me a …

Shape Shifters – Exercise after Having a Baby

I had a chat with the exceptionally clever and lovely Stacey Law, physiotherapist from Leto Women’s Health in Auckland, to write this article for Little Treasures Magazine. Stacey helped put me and my diastasis recti (I won’t lie, I always have to google the spelling of that one) back together after my second pregnancy, and is a go-to guru for post-natal bodies. She’s a big fan of being kind to yourself and grits her teeth when she reads headlines about celebs ‘getting their body back after baby’, and I love her for it! You can read the article in this pdf here: Shape shifters Or jpgs below.

Back to work I go

(This piece originally appeared in Little Treasures magazine, and is on their website here. ) Last year I decided it was time to don high heels and un-strained clothes to sashay back into the workforce. Since having the girls I’ve done part time work, but it has all been from the comfort of my kitchen table involving limited contact with other actual adults. I should clarify: part time paid work – because the full-time mum gig is obviously a major job in itself. With interviews done and an offer made, I got to revel in the the giddy excitement that comes with realising someone wants to pay for the stuff your brain does. Swiftly followed by panic that my brain might not remember how to do the stuff it used to. I gave myself a quick pep talk about how I’d grown actual humans, dammit, and have been juggling things like some kind of mashup between a circus ninja and a UN Hostage negotiator ever since, so I’d be just fine. Last time I was in an …

I’m doing it wrong (says the internet).

Many things change when you have a baby. Your body, your hair, the shadows under your eyes, your bank balance, your relationships, and the information dished out to you through your social media feeds. Based on the types of conversations I have online, the photos or articles I look at and the demographic box I fit into (city dwelling 30-something mother of two), I get quite the cocktail of ads and ‘suggested posts’ served up to me on Facebook and Instagram. Sometimes I imagine there’s a plucky young Facebook executive casting their eye over the data report for the day and thinking to themselves, “based on her criteria, today this lady saw ads for leggings that make you two sizes slimmer, washing powder, toddler shoes, gin, adult slippers that look like shoes, a wine sale, crumpets, sleep consultants, frozen chicken nuggets, anti-wrinkle cream, multi-compartmented lunchboxes, a device you stick in your lady parts that connects to your phone to say how much work your pelvic floor needs, and more wine. WHAT IS THIS LIFE?!” Sometimes …