Just like this
This was pretty much how I imagined motherhood would be. I won’t clue Tilly in on the full story just yet.
All posts tagged: #parenting
Eggsactly
“But I wanted a bomblet egg, not a bloiled egg!” Sorry for the mixup madam, I’ll remove the offending boiled egg from your bill, and will make an omelette next time.
Deception
Tilly: “I hid the hairbrush so you can’t brush my hair. Absoluuuutely don’t look under THAT cushion”. Amy: “I made you something at school for Mothers’ Day. But I’m not supposed to give it to you until Sunday, and I won’t tell you what it is, even if you ask me, cos it’s a surprise. OK IT’S FUDGE! I MADE YOU FUDGE! THERE’S ALSO A CARD!” My daughters need to work on their deception skills if they ever plan on sneaking out when they’re teenagers.
Carpet sandcastle
Apparently this isn’t a messy pile of books, “it’s a sandcassel. Don’t ever put it away, ever ever”
The grossest request
Sure, I grew her, she emerged from my body, I’ve been puked, pooped and peed on by her…but THIS is the grossest part of parenting. The bit where they try to blow up their own balloon for a solid 20 minutes, then admit defeat and say “you blow it up for me, Mama”. *shudder* Even the cat can’t watch.
Contrary Ballerina
Why, yes, that is my child facing the wrong way and not following instructions.
Unexpected at 10:27
Unexpected yet not entirely inaccurate satement delivered via the baby monitor at 10:27pm: “There’s too much unicorn in my bed.”
Cheesy violin
A four year old playing an untuned guitar with a cheese slice in the style of a violinist sounds exactly as bad as you’d imagine. #PointsForEnthusiasm
Overdressed
Me: “Tilly, time for bed” Tilly: “Ok! I’ll just get my gumboots!” It’s abundantly clear I need to introduce my two year old to the social code about how you’re better to arrive at an engagement dressed too casually vs. too flashy.
Waiters will hate her one day
Peanut butter & jam sandwich requested. Peanut butter & jam sandwich rejected moments later because “I didn’t want peanut butter in it! And no jam and NO bread!”
McPikelets 