Ushered Tilly to the ‘Dad’ selection of birthday cards, but she insisted her dad would want this one because “he loves Dora and sparkles cos I love Dora and sparkles”. Two year olds: proving that they’re in charge, even on not-their-birthday. (I just added an extra 4 on the card and it totally worked for a 44 year old man)
Me: “What would you like to do this afternoon?” Tilly: “Let’s do…something DANGEROUS. Wait here, I’ll get my sparkly shoes” Details of a GoFundMe account for Tilly’s legal fees (and footwear) to follow.
I shall title this photo: “Working From Home With Kids Will Be Easy” and file it under: “Shit I Said Before I Was A Mother And Now Want To Punch Myself In The Face For” (it’s a really large collection).
The two year old was devastated I wasn’t taking her with me to a baby shower (because, seriously, unleashing Tornado Tilly in the home of an uninitiated mother-of-twins-to-be just seemed cruel). Luckily the five year old set her straight on how mundane the event would be: “Tilly, you don’t want to go to a baby shower. It’s just a whole lot of women together, and they help the pregnant lady to have a shower, then they all take turns giving each other showers all afternoon. Bor-ring.” Great. So then my husband was suddenly interested in coming along, too.
Told Tilly it was time to eat her toast and get out of her pyjamas so we could get going. “But I can’t have toast and go anywhere!” she shrieked as she pushed her unwashed hair out of her eyes, “I’m still giving my baby a bath and then there’s SO much cleaning to do!” A series of grumbles and frustrated grunts followed. Isn’t it just so beautiful when you hold a mirror up to your child and see all the best parts of yourself reflecting back? #JustLikeMama
Tilly caught a prawn. She named it “Prawny”. Sad times all round when I broke it to her that prawns are more of a “for a few moments” pet than a “forever” pet.
So today it was like Pinterest came over and said “hey! Let’s do some child-led cooking! Mini apple-berry pies! Fun shapes with pastry! It’ll be an educational hoot!” Then Pinterest came down with a sudden bout of food poisoning, tried to shout instructions from the bathroom, but finally admitted defeat and went home.
It’s ‘Cultural Dress Up Day’ at kindy. The culture Tilly has decided to align herself with is PeppaPigUnicorn. Fair enough. Also, she seems to have found Nemo.
Me: “I love you so much I could burst!” Tilly: *sideways glance* “I like you too”. I just got friend zoned by my own two year old.
As a bargaining tool at bedtime, we often let the two-year-old choose an extra buddy to take to bed (alongside constant companions Bunny & Stinky). She’s now sleeping soundly, curled up tightly around tonight’s choice: a large, pink, plastic toy bathtub. #YouSaidICouldChooseAnything