Today on Scary Mommy: me!
Super stoked to have one of my blogs up on Scary Mommy: Running with a side of womanly shame on ScaryMommy
All posts filed under: Published Articles
The Indignity of Motherhood
I heard the phrase “you check your dignity in at the door during childbirth” bandied about a few times when I was pregnant. Sure, I’d seen the antenatal class photos and thought I knew what was up (and down, and sideways, and is-that-even-part-of-a-human-body?!), but after four endometriosis operations, a myriad of tests and a round of IVF, I already felt like my dignity was that unclaimed suitcase you see going around the luggage carousel at the airport. “It’s okay – you’re growing a baby!” Pregnancy introduces new levels of embarrassment to women the world over. Maybe you opened a car door and threw up in the gutter of a busy street while in the throes of morning sickness. Perhaps you kicked your shoes off under the desk at work then found yourself unable to cram them back on your swollen tootsies when it came time to attend a meeting. It’s not unusual to burst into noisy sobs during TV ads. Inappropriately timed and completely unexpected burps that rival those of a drunk first year university …
Running with a side of Womanly Shame
A desperate search for a valid reason to have a child-free weekend, combined with some sort of downhill-slide-to-forty crisis saw me signing up for an out of town marathon. My lofty goals were downgraded to a half marathon after I hurt my leg, although I didn’t mind much as it gave me great pleasure to say I had a “sport related injury” as if I was someone who sports often enough to sustain a sporty injury. With my parents looking after the girls, my husband and I set off on what I’d started imagining as a weekend of drinking and eating with a 21km jog slotted in. I’d usually rather give birth again than endure a five hour car journey through winding scenery, but without kids it was pure JOY. We had uninterrupted conversations the whole way. No one whined. No one threw up. No Wiggles music was played. No one demanded snacks. Actually that last one isn’t true – I demanded we stop and get a Snickers bar, just so I could eat chocolate …
Little Wonders
The lovely Miffy Welsh shared some of her early childhood education insights with me for Little Treasures Magazine earlier this year. I’m having to take a re-read of it myself after hitting a preschool-drop-off-wobbles hurdle this morning! Unsurprisingly, I often fall into the “hanging around talking to other parents” category, and must remember that drop off is about my daughter, not about me seizing an opportunity to talk with Other Actual Adults.
Heading Out Of Town
There’s a saying: “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey”. I’m fairly confident that whoever said it had never been on a car trip with small children. I tend to try and blur the memories of long drives because it puts me off going anywhere, ever, but generally there’s a lot of bribery, silly games, pulling over, body contortions that a gymnast would be proud of to reach dropped toys, endless snacks, a decent amount of whinging, and the occasional puke into a hastily proffered container. But even after the most fraught car trips, there’s a lovely moment when I realise we got there safely, and can relish the thought of happy times just waiting to happen. Sometimes that lovely moment doesn’t hit until well after the house has been frantically cleared of mouse poo and the unpacked car has been pulled apart to find missing Snuggly Bunny, but it does hit eventually. Going away even with just our little family isn’t the casual after-thought it used to be before we had children…it’s …
UpsideDowns on World Down Syndrome Day
Today is World Down Syndrome Day. I’m fortunate to be on the board of a charity called UpsideDowns, which funds speech language therapy for children with Down Syndrome. Earlier this year I wrote an article for Little Treasures Magazine, featuring one of the lovely families I’ve gotten to know:
Babies: The Great Unifier
(Published in the December ’15/January ’16 edition of Little Treasures Magazine. This is an extended version of the published article) When I was pregnant, a colleague told me in sage tones that having a baby was the most competitive activity she’d ever gotten herself into. The alarming tales she told of coffee group bake-offs and veiled queries about whose baby was first to smile/roll over/talk/play the violin certainly took my mind off my swollen ankles. Fortunately, the two local mother groups I fell into (via antenatal classes and a Plunket PEPE course) were more of the “grab a packet of biscuits on the way and let’s have a laugh about how many times this week we’ve opened the front door to visitors with our maternity bras undone” variety. Nevertheless, via an increased consumption of social media, my eyes were opened to the battleground that is motherhood. Natural birth vs. c-section. Breast feeding vs. formula. Co-sleeping vs. own bed. Vaccinators vs. anti vaxers. Cry it out vs. rock to sleep. The “vs.” list was seemingly endless, and …
Four Year Old World
Most evenings see me in a pair of yoga pants I bought when I was pregnant because I’ve got this thing about not wanting to “waste” nice clothes on hanging out at home (I blame my half-Scottish heritage for this mindset). Don’t go imagining a stylish “lounging at home in my activewear” getup though; these pants were from the $5 rack at Kmart, and are so old their cost-per-wear sits at about 0.0004 cents. Due to their clingy nature, they made my pregnant ass look like two baskets of rutting hamsters, but goddamit I love a bargain so wore them anyway. Also, nothing else fit. I was wearing these pants as I tucked Amy into bed last night, so was taken aback when she said, “Are you going out for dinner after I’ve gone to sleep? Those pants look fab-lee-iss”. Ah, but Amy is four, and in Four Year Old World a $5 pair of yoga pants can be considered totally ok to wear to a restaurant (stick that in your lemon, Lulu). It got …
The Case For A Third
(Originally published in the October/November 2015 edition of Little Treasures Magazine) I always imagined myself having two kids one day. Girls, boys, one of each…that never bothered me, but I really wanted two. For a while, it looked like we might struggle to even have one, and the day I saw two blue lines appearing on a white stick remains one of the happiest of my life. My husband was a somewhat reluctant father-to-be – he was massively supportive, but I’d catch him gazing at my rapidly growing belly with a mix of what can only be described as abject terror. That all changed the second Amy was born, at which point he became The Only Man To Have Ever Become A Father, our daughter was The Most Amazing Child In The World, Ever, and he practically signed up for a second baby on the spot. Given the struggles we had getting pregnant with Amy, we got back on the baby bandwagon (almost) immediately. Surgeries for endometriosis followed, as did failed attempts at IVF, and …
A McPikelets two-fer in Little Treasures
Thrilled to have two pieces in the latest edition of Little Treasures Magazine! My regular column is about how if you stop paying attention to all the “Mummy Wars!”carry-on you can discover what amazing little unifiers babies are. The other piece is a gorgeous double-pager featuring a lovely family I’ve had the pleasure of meeting through UpsideDowns (the charity I work with that provides access to speech therapy for children with Down Syndrome).
McPikelets 