The Twelve Thousand Dollar Cooler
The IVF three years ago didn’t work, but the insulated bag the fertility clinic gave me all the drugs in is totally awesome for taking to the beach. #TheTwelveThousandDollarCooler
All posts tagged: #motherhood
Practically a salad.
Thank you, carrot cake, for simultaneously being delicious yet bearing a name that sounds so disgustingly healthy my children leave me alone while I eat you.
Dinner prep. Or, as I think of it: deciding what I most feel like cleaning off the floor later.
Gave the girls the “we’re going to visit friends with a tiny baby, so please use your quiet voices” speech. Their reactions did nothing to fill me with confidence.
In-flight Entertainment
#PiratePrincess
No Regrets
Growing weary of an over-tired Tilly’s refusal to go to sleep, I outsourced the parenting to Siri. It seems singing lullabies to two year olds is not Siri’s strong point. So I offered Tilly chips and cartoons in the morning if she’d just go to bed. Success. I regret nothing. NOTHING.
Splits
At the end of the party, there’s always that one girl with her eyes half-closed saying “here, hold my drink, I’m gonna see if I can do the splits”.
Pink food
Yesterday we took the girls to a Malaysian restaurant, because I thought it was high time I lived up to my pre-child stipulation that “my children will enjoy a wide variety of ethnic foods”. But I fed them up on cheese sandwiches a bit first, because I doubt the experimental abilities of their palates, and also because I often want to punch my pre-child smug self right in the teeth. Amy warily eyed her roti, but two bites in was trilling “it’s like an amazing flat croissant! Can I have another one after this one and another one after that?” as she settled in for her carb load-up. “TOO PICEY! TOO PICEY!” shrieked Tilly, grappling for a water glass, after dipping her roti in the spicy chilli oil when no one was watching. Pink food. Doesn’t always taste as pretty as it looks. 🔥🔥🔥
Tantys
I get an immense amount of joy from witnessing my two year old’s tantrums. It’s her special way of demonstrating that she’ll grow into an independent woman who will never take no for an answer, who will stick to her guns, who will preserve until she gets what she wants at all costs, who will have a healthy set of lungs, a voice that will carry across a crowd of thousands, and a deceptive level of physical strength. #blessed JOKES! Can anyone hook a sister up with some Valium?
Schadenfreude
Our cat has been sleeping on Amy’s new Frozen bed cover, leaving Elsa looking as if she’s experiencing a rather unfortunate hormonal facial hair problem. Maybe I’m feeling bitchy about committing to an alcohol free day, or maybe I just really resent knowing Amy would trade her entire family to live with Elsa in Arendelle, but either way, I’m experiencing a not-insignificant level of schadenfreude. #LetItGrow #ForTheFursTimeInForever #ABitOfWaxOnYourLipperUpper
McPikelets 