When you’re ready to hit the club but Bae isn’t feeling it
All posts tagged: #parenting
Today in TODAY Parents…
TODAY Parents included McPikelets in their weekly roundup! I feel so validated. http://www.today.com/parents/14-parents-who-made-us-laugh-facebook-week-t81106?cid=sm_fbn
Jump!
Uptown Bounce Lady: “Would you like to buy an extra pair of trampolining socks for $2 in case you want to jump with your daughter?” Me: “Ohhhh…I thought it was just for kids. We’ve never been before. I’ll probably sit and watch her”. One minute later…. Me: *frantically searching through wallet for $2 whilst simultaneously doing preemptive kegels and evaluating elasticity of bra* “Hell YEAH I want a pair of trampolining socks so I can jump!”
Giving HooHas a HaHa
I’m utterly thrilled that HaHas for Hoohas has run my blog about Four Year Old World! Thank you, HaHas For HooHas, I loves ya.
AND there was lying down involved
You know it has been A Challenging Week when you excitedly chalk up going for a pap smear as “child free time”
Oh, that’s right.
Just as I was considering asking for a vasectomy-reversal for Valentine’s Day, I got sucker-punched by an unexpected hangover (due to a miscalculation of food-to-wine ratios) and was instantly reminded how hideous morning sickness was. #NoReversalNecessary #ChocolatesInsteadPlease #TheNiceOnes
Babies: The Great Unifier
(Published in the December ’15/January ’16 edition of Little Treasures Magazine. This is an extended version of the published article) When I was pregnant, a colleague told me in sage tones that having a baby was the most competitive activity she’d ever gotten herself into. The alarming tales she told of coffee group bake-offs and veiled queries about whose baby was first to smile/roll over/talk/play the violin certainly took my mind off my swollen ankles. Fortunately, the two local mother groups I fell into (via antenatal classes and a Plunket PEPE course) were more of the “grab a packet of biscuits on the way and let’s have a laugh about how many times this week we’ve opened the front door to visitors with our maternity bras undone” variety. Nevertheless, via an increased consumption of social media, my eyes were opened to the battleground that is motherhood. Natural birth vs. c-section. Breast feeding vs. formula. Co-sleeping vs. own bed. Vaccinators vs. anti vaxers. Cry it out vs. rock to sleep. The “vs.” list was seemingly endless, and …
Four Year Old World
Most evenings see me in a pair of yoga pants I bought when I was pregnant because I’ve got this thing about not wanting to “waste” nice clothes on hanging out at home (I blame my half-Scottish heritage for this mindset). Don’t go imagining a stylish “lounging at home in my activewear” getup though; these pants were from the $5 rack at Kmart, and are so old their cost-per-wear sits at about 0.0004 cents. Due to their clingy nature, they made my pregnant ass look like two baskets of rutting hamsters, but goddamit I love a bargain so wore them anyway. Also, nothing else fit. I was wearing these pants as I tucked Amy into bed last night, so was taken aback when she said, “Are you going out for dinner after I’ve gone to sleep? Those pants look fab-lee-iss”. Ah, but Amy is four, and in Four Year Old World a $5 pair of yoga pants can be considered totally ok to wear to a restaurant (stick that in your lemon, Lulu). It got …
Abraca…crap
Fun things to hear when you’re racing about trying to get everyone in the car so we don’t sit in holiday traffic all day: “Mum! I’ve dropped my wand in the toilet AND WE’RE NOT LEAVING WITHOUT IT!” We’re now joining the line of traffic as the pungent aroma of disinfectant fills the car.
At least someone knows what they’re doing.
I’m not sure what’s more irritating. A) My four year old constantly telling me what to do with Tilly and undermining my every decision because she genuinely seems to think she’s better at parenting a toddler than I am, OR B) The fact that my four year old genuinely does seem to be better at parenting a toddler than I am.
McPikelets 