ALERT
Judging by the volume and urgency Amy employed at 3.47am to deliver the statement “I CAN’T FIND MY UNICORN! GET UP!”, I’m confident we’re all set with a wake up system for actual emergencies.
All posts tagged: #Preschooler
Motherducker
Gifted a jar of my Motherf*cking Marmalade to a friend. Lucky my handwriting was a bit tricksy for her early reader:
Sadly, the fly has passed.
“I just caught a fly with my own hands! But…I accidentally deaded it. Can we keep it in this container forever?” Ahhh, you never forget your first deading.
Makeup
My bottle of makeup sadly retired itself this morning when no more two year old dregs could be coaxed out. My uneven skin tone and dark circles shouted at me to “just pop in” to Smashbox to try on some foundation with both girls in tow. During our excursion Tilly learned how to escape from her buggy, and Amy had some lip gloss professionally applied in a group effort to keep her quiet. I scuttled out with half an orange face, a four year old shouting “she’s so pretty! Hey! SHE could come and live with you and Daddy in your room!”, and no new makeup.
Crossfit: Playground Edition
Crossfit: Playground Edition. Next they’ll be insisting we go paleo and facebooking about how many Tonka wheels they can lift above their heads while running up a hill. #crossfit #toddler #preschooler
Zoo Mumstake
Rookie Mumstake: trying to get the girls to smile for a photo when there are elephants to look at behind them. “Stop looking at the animals and look at me so I can document our fun trip to the zoo! SMILE LIKE YOU MEANT IT, DAMMIT, WE ARE HAVING FUN!” (“Mumstake” is my favourite mashup word today. Mum + Mistake. Some days are one long Mumstake. I’m hashtagging that shit.)
I spy…
A heated game of “I Spy” is underway. Player 1: Four years old. Somewhat limited spelling ability. Player 2: Twenty-one months old. No spelling ability. Tensions are running high. We might need a ref, and a medic. #GiraffeDoesNotStartWithJ #ThereIsNoGiraffeInSightAnyway#ThisGameIsRigged
Theeeeeyyy’rrreee heeeeeeeereeeee
When you think you’re taking a cute photo of your daughter in your old childhood dress, and realise you’ve accidentally shot the poster image for a horror movie. #averageparentproblems
City Girl
“Hey Mummy! Look at these funny little rocks, they’re a bit squishy!” “Ohhhh Amy, those aren’t rocks, they’re rabbit poo” “OHMYGOD MUM do you have any hand sanitizer with you?” Aww, my little city girl.
In your face, fairies.
About a week ago, Amy started wistfully staring off into space and wondering, “Mummy, are fairies real do you think? If they are, they’ll probably leave me some chocolate”. So began a somewhat long and involved process of Amy leaving out nightly letters (dictated to me), pictures, piles of glitter, bits of jewelry etc., for the fairies to find. To start with, I was pretty sure she was just hopping on the fairy gravy train in the hope I’d try to convince her they were real by leaving her treats. Now, before anyone accuses me of bah-humbuggedness, this is the girl who got up on Christmas morning when I was happily squawking about Santa having come overnight, and said “oh, Mummy, Santa isn’t ACTUALLY real, you didn’t really believe that, did you?” as she rolled her 3.5 year old eyes at me. This is what I’m dealing with. She might as well drink unicorn blood for breakfast. But after a week of fairy pen-pal action, she seemed to actually be quite into it, and genuinely bummed on the …
McPikelets 