Doctor’s simple instructions for Tilly’s eye drops: Lie toddler down quietly Use clean fingers to hold eyelid open Gently squeeze two drops into each eye Have toddler lie still for a few minutes to make sure the eyedrops have dispersed. How it went down: Lay toddler on couch Used clean fingers to try and hold eyelid open Chased freaked-out toddler around house while she shouted “no mummy! no mummy!” loudly enough to alarm the neighbors. Tried to reason with toddler, remembered that toddlers don’t reason, so offered bribes. No show. Tackled then wrestled toddler to floor. Took a moment to acknowledge that I’d be totally awesome in some sort of greased piglet wrestling competition. Sang toddler’s favorite songs at high volume to calm her down while trying to pry her eyes open. Worried that she’d come over like one of Pavlov’s Dogs and associate her favorite songs with pain and fear. Started singing first non-child song that came into my head. It was Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing In The Name Of”. Flagged non-child song as …