Amy: “MUM! I’ve got hiccups.”
Me: *in jolly tones* “Hiccups? Hiccups are funny things, aren’t they?”
Amy *patiently yet patronising* “Ahhhh, no, you’re thinking of farts. Farts are funny, Mummy, not hiccups. Farts are funny; hiccups are just annoying.”

Sorry. My mistake.