“If I go in my room and bite my fingernails, but you can’t see me, and then you say ‘Amy, are you biting your fingernails?’ and I say, ‘no mummy!’, but I really AM biting my fingernails, but you don’t know because you can’t see me, am I still in trouble?”

I think I need more tea (or wine. Definitely wine.) before I can get into the whole “if a tree falls in the forest but no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?” philosophy.