Thunder & Lycra
“Mummy! It’s a thunder and lycra storm!” I think Amy has just nailed a great name for a metal band specialising in aerobics music.
All posts filed under: Short Stuff
Vitamin
“MUM! I nearly finished my vitamin, but it fell out of my mouth somewhere in the lounge, or your room, or my room and I can’t find it! YOU HAVE TO FIND IT!” “Ummm, can I get you a new vitamin? Here we go.” “No! It has to be the one I was eating or it will be the saddest day EVER.” Anyone want to come help me comb through vitamin-coloured shag pile? #AverageParentProblems
Propping the baby’s cot up to help her runny nose…how soon is Too Soon for Jilly Cooper?!
Parenting level: winning
Is it poor form to turn the extractor fan on high so you can legitimately say to the three year old, “sorry lovey, I just cant hear you!” in an attempt to avoid answering the same question for the 20th time in an hour? No actual cooking was taking place.
Just can’t even.
Me: “There’s some pie left over from dinner, would you like to have it for your lunch?” Amy: “Yee-ess, BUT just pie and tomato sauce and no veges. I can’t deal with vegetables today.”
The Sulks
Amy: “Mum, where are the sulks?” Me: “The whats? What are sulks?” Amy: “I don’t know. But Dad said I can have one.” Me: “What exactly did Dad say?” Amy: “He said, ‘if you’re going to behave like that then you can go and have a sulk in your bedroom.’ So, can I have one please?” More cause for having a sulk when it sunk in that it’s not some sort of new sugar-laden treat.
Literal
If you’re going to get all exasperated and say to your three year old: “stop wiping your sticky hands on the table, Amy! You need to use your head more, please!” then you better be prepared for that advice to be taken really, really literally.
#FrozenProblems
I can confirm that a three year old dancing down the hallway, belting out “love is an open dorrrr-orrrrr-orrrrr!” is not conducive to getting a six month old to sleep.
Toddlosphy
“If I go in my room and bite my fingernails, but you can’t see me, and then you say ‘Amy, are you biting your fingernails?’ and I say, ‘no mummy!’, but I really AM biting my fingernails, but you don’t know because you can’t see me, am I still in trouble?” I think I need more tea (or wine. Definitely wine.) before I can get into the whole “if a tree falls in the forest but no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?” philosophy.
S is for…
Samantha from Sex & The City is on Sesame Street today. SESAME STREET. It just feels a bit wrong. Half expected her to say “C is for cooter!” Held my breath when she started with an F-word, but it turned out to be the word “Fabulous”. I’m now equal parts relieved and disappointed.
McPikelets 