Nanny?
Got asked this morning if I was the nanny. No word as to whether they were referring to my youthful appearance, or to the “these can’t possibly be my children” vibe I was riding.
All posts tagged: #toddler
Crossfit: Playground Edition
Crossfit: Playground Edition. Next they’ll be insisting we go paleo and facebooking about how many Tonka wheels they can lift above their heads while running up a hill. #crossfit #toddler #preschooler
Zoo Mumstake
Rookie Mumstake: trying to get the girls to smile for a photo when there are elephants to look at behind them. “Stop looking at the animals and look at me so I can document our fun trip to the zoo! SMILE LIKE YOU MEANT IT, DAMMIT, WE ARE HAVING FUN!” (“Mumstake” is my favourite mashup word today. Mum + Mistake. Some days are one long Mumstake. I’m hashtagging that shit.)
Science
Toddlers: Reliably able to prove the theory that the more shit you had to get done during nap time, the less likely they are to take a nap.
I spy…
A heated game of “I Spy” is underway. Player 1: Four years old. Somewhat limited spelling ability. Player 2: Twenty-one months old. No spelling ability. Tensions are running high. We might need a ref, and a medic. #GiraffeDoesNotStartWithJ #ThereIsNoGiraffeInSightAnyway#ThisGameIsRigged
*burp*
Thanks to Tilly, burps shall henceforth and forevermore be known as “mouth farts”
Mein Toddler
To streamline communication, Tilly has mashed up her two most-used words into one. “No!” and “mine!” now co-exist as “nein! nein! NEIN!” It’s like living with a tiny, angry German.
Whose shoes?
Must remember to be more specific when shrieking “everyone get shoes on, we’re late!”
Trapped
Trapped in the kitchen. I feel you, Tilly, I really do.
My eeeeeeeeyyyyyyessssssss
Doctor’s simple instructions for Tilly’s eye drops: Lie toddler down quietly Use clean fingers to hold eyelid open Gently squeeze two drops into each eye Have toddler lie still for a few minutes to make sure the eyedrops have dispersed. How it went down: Lay toddler on couch Used clean fingers to try and hold eyelid open Chased freaked-out toddler around house while she shouted “no mummy! no mummy!” loudly enough to alarm the neighbors. Tried to reason with toddler, remembered that toddlers don’t reason, so offered bribes. No show. Tackled then wrestled toddler to floor. Took a moment to acknowledge that I’d be totally awesome in some sort of greased piglet wrestling competition. Sang toddler’s favorite songs at high volume to calm her down while trying to pry her eyes open. Worried that she’d come over like one of Pavlov’s Dogs and associate her favorite songs with pain and fear. Started singing first non-child song that came into my head. It was Rage Against The Machine’s “Killing In The Name Of”. Flagged non-child song as …
McPikelets 